Somewhere Over The Rainbow

Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue, and the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true!

I simply like this part of Judy Garland's song 'Somewhere Over The Rainbow' famous in The Wizard of Oz movie (before my time> LOL).

I wish there is so called happy life beyond the blue skies, somewhere over the rainbow. I knew there is, of all the 7 complete colours there must be one tad of happiness. For this moment, I am coming to term of my final movement. Everything is happening, so quickly much to my liking. My heart is jumping out of joy yet at the same time, I am sadden to leave part of my life journey (so far) behind. Part of me asking, have I gone too far in making this decision? Will I be happy (to stay)? Will I regret?

Surely, this decision is made not only for myself but for my little ones. They deserve better life, better environment and better role model. I myself certainly deserve to live a happy life! I don't want to be a bitter person and punished people around me (including myself) for the rest of my life. It is better to stay single than to be in a wrong relationship. I am not saying that I am perfect, no one is and never will. But I have dreams in life, I like planning for my future and my children have the say for their future instead of being dull, no plans in life, no future and never moving forward! Life should be enjoyed moderately, in everything we do/does there is moderation. I dislike passive and pessimistic people. Always says, poor me, what about me type of attitude. When you chose to do something do it with open heartedness, sincerely and unconditionally. Seeing someone happy after you do your act(s) of love is far more rewarding than accepting some kind of 'in return' attribute. The happy faces, beaming smiles, eyes that glows they all tell different stories. That is appreciation! Sometimes paying someone an appreciation kind of stumble me because I thought (my own opinion) by being loyal, being listened for, doing all the house chores, looking and running after kids needs, foods on the table are some kind of appreciation?! Apparently they are not in some's itinerary.

I thought being young and pretty in his side are something I would say my kind of appreciation but it is not either. It made me a trophy, to show and paraded. It's some kind of show and tell really, this is my blah blah, isn't she pretty and young blah blah blah... For short while it was flattering to hear but when you learn in your real life, your are not treated the way you were paraded in front of everyone it is hypocrite really. I thought he would give the world to me, walk side by side with me, raising children with good moral, ethic and good role model for them to follow. Alas, the longer the relationship goes the more it became decrepit. I wish he tried to understand and change for the better. Oh well, it is a bit too late for any changes now. A bit of remorse now won't alter my decision. I have given him times, plenty of chances and each time he failed me (us) again. don't want to be dull and unmoved in life any longer. So, wisely to say I am making the right decision to leave him with his own business. Let it be a history, I want to re-write my own history. Being the happy person I am, for the better future and most importantly for my children.

Somewhere over the rainbow........