Loving unconditionally

The kingdom of God is nearer than you think. I believe God's kingdom is already here and it is within us who believed in Him. All religions believe that one day our universe is going to an end and someone who is Great is coming to judge the living and the dead. For Christians, that someone is Jesus, the Son of God!

Many have asked, how do we enter into the kingdom of God and to be amongst the righteous? Jesus only said two things, 1. Love your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength (found many of these verses in the new testament ie. Matthew 22:37, Mark 12:30) and 2. "Love your neighbour as yourself." (found in Luke 10:27, Mark 12:31, Matthew 22:39, Matthew 19:19) Will be back with this #2 in a while.

In the Lord's prayer, it begins with "Our Father in heaven, holy be your name, your KINGDOM come on earth as it is in heaven"... the KINGDOM of God is here. Surely, for us to enter into the Kingdom of God is firstly, we must LOVE God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength!

Secondly, LOVE thy neighbour as yourself. Some may literally thinks that our neighbour are just the people lives next door to us. Jesus is letting us know far more greater than just our 'handsome guy next door?'. Other religions are our neighbours, our relatives, friends, parents, and above all the enemies are our neighbours. How could we love our enemies as ourselves? They are after all our enemies! But as we know, Jesus sat and eat and preached among the unbelievers, the sinners and even they persecute Him and nailed Him on the Cross. Yet HE loved them and forgive them. This is the true example of a righteous person! His death saves us all!

When you think of it, we are far more better to love unconditionally! in 1 Peter 4:8 "Above all keep your love for one another fervent, because love covers a multitude of sins."

I myself have gone beyond all these teaching. I left my husband not because I didn't love him, I do love him so dearly and did LOVED him unconditionally! his values in life are different than mine. We just couldn't tolerate to live in the same roof for that very reason. He might have plenty of bad habits but it doesn't mean that he is a bad person. Sometimes when you're hurt you overlooked one's good stance.

Do I feel like a hypocrite? Yes I do sometimes. I hated myself and that reason, I couldn't move forward in forgiveness. Would be wise to say, I forgive you yet I couldn't stand the look of him? All the hatred and anger penetrated deep inside and only me alone can mend it. I long for that big relieved of looking into my eyes he would say sorry for all the things he'd done and ask for forgiveness. I prayed day and night, may that day come so that I could move forward. I do not wish to reconcile our marriage. There is no way I could go back to his life and pretend nothing happened. I rest my case!

May the grace of God teach me to be humble, to Love my neighbours as myself and above all to love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength! Amen.

Withdrawn from anything.

I am aware of my personal attitude, I am withdrawing from anything. Should you ask me why? I cannot answer!

Family break ups and separation are not an easy path to embrace. Believe me! Although I've chosen this path with open heart, I have been praying hard if this is the right decision and deep inside me, I know God want me to go through this path for me to open my eyes and heart for another door. What door is it? Not the kind of door you're thinking of, as I have no intention of looking for another relationship while I am going through the process of healing.

I do not condone a rebound relationship right after separation. Separation is not an answer to find someone better to replace your old partner neither to please your own desires thinking that you're free from doing so. Trust me, I am still married and while separated I am aware should I commit any intimate relationship with someone I will be condemned as an adulterer. As christian, I look for fullness in God's grace. Yes I am lonely and the need for adult companion of the opposite sex is greater each day! I pray to God everyday and night to avoid any temptation. This then to allow myself to prepare for forgiveness for myself and for my ex. Sometimes I do get pissed off with God! HE is aware that I am angry. The lack of companionship, respect, tolerance, attention and most of all LOVE! I wasn't loved enough or was it I didn't offer enough love!

Why did God allow my marriage when He Himself know one day it ends with bitter separation? Why didn't God do enough to save my marriage? There are so many times there could be a chance that this marriage be saved, why was God absent? I was crying for help, unheard! Every time I prayed for, HE relieved me to another opened door. I knew this is what God want me to go through. My calling for help is unheard, he is too stubborn and I am at the edge of everything. I couldn't see any appealing excuses to stay.

Now that the adrenaline is gone, I find myself yet crying for help!

Heavenly Father, I pray for those who are lonely. Where they hasn't got anyone to call for. Their hearts are crying to be loved and cared for but none of us understand their suffering. Let them look for friendship in You, Jesus as You are loyal and understanding but in the meantime may we help these lonesome souls, heal them, love them and care for them. Let the friendships be fruitful. With Your grace and wisdom let us not fall into temptation. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.