Then...

And then I am single...

It is an interesting story to tell for those whom recently split from their partner or husband which ever you like it to be called. I am for one, now bearing the single mother title, I find it as a relieved not so much of a freedom but just the peace of mind. Away from the alcohol consumption environment, the ice dropped in the glass and slurping the satan's drink religiously as if it was the best ever (to be exact!) I do not miss that one bit, for sure that's what I wanted to say apart from the constant bullying, belittling and brain washing. All the crap, I am not missing a bit.

I do like my life as SM. I am managing, step by step and little by little. Every step I make is a progress to healing process. At this point, I am still awaiting for him to say 'I am sorry'! I guess I won't hear it from him for a long time. As the pride in him is bigger than his heart. X is an exceptional person (his own way), I am adamant the sooner he find someone the better for him. He has, I don't care. I care for the well being of my children not him (good on him, I am proud that he made progress of his own). Already they made plan to do this and that and to go here and there together. Fantastic! STOP THERE, not with my children thank you very much!

Talking to my shrink (great now everyone knows... lol), I am making progress in trusting a stranger. I am not completely opened up to him just yet but I'll get there. It is good to know there are people you could talk to with non judgemental reciprocate. I think it is better that way than trusting a friend that constantly judge you in a way, you are hurt in return. Bless ye friends!!

In time of need, conversational time with someone you trust, an assurance of a friend to be there, non received! and then to be looked down, that I will turn good will into sin! That just kill the appreciation. No doubt, we are all busy with our own agendas but...... do fill in the blanks!

The communities tend to judge newly separated person too. Bad or good, they call you names. The newest for me is 'I am being exotic'. Wow, that is one serve of racism against me. Just because I am different from you, doesn't mean that you have the right to call me as such 'exotic'. I'll take as being petite and pretty as compliments! I do not use this beauty to attract enemies. It is my way of being confident and appreciate God's gift and creation. Would it make any different should I turn up in rags, scarred face and all? Oh my, me being exotic! I am laughing... so much it hurts!

Well, I am on the mend. Bit by bit and step by step. Although everyday is a struggle, I trust in the Lord Jesus... He is the answer to everything.